Chocolate or strawberry ?
Maths Homework or Max Payne ?
Chemistry class or Rajni movie ?
Engineer or Doctor ?
Mechanical or Electronics ?
Job or higher studies ?
India or abroad ?
Money or satisfaction ?
Friend or lover ?
Wife or parents ?
CBSE or ICSE ?
Home or Office ?
Agree or disagree ?
You or me ?
Yesterday or today ?
Hold on or Let go ?
Chocolate or strawberry ?
Posted in Short Cuts | Tags: choices, poetry, time
The Marine Drive was its usual pompous, glittery self. Couples lost in themselves, teenagers looking on with envy, kids having their share of fun and few who were free from their troubles for a moment. But Rahul was seeing none of this as he sped on in his cab. Only one thought filled his head, “Have I really matured ?”. He was not looking for the answer. The answer was the cause of his concern.
He got a call from Joe after ages. And as always, he was too busy to attend. But he could not ignore the number. He was thrilled and, for some reason even he couldn’t comprehend, he was also a bit scared. He called him back. The friend who had been closest to him. The guy who had played with him every evening. The guy who always grinned ear-to-ear, even when they knelt together for the teacher’s punishment. The guy who had liked the same girl he did. And had stopped speaking to her when she dumped his friend. The guy who had meant more than life itself. The guy who had moved out of Rahul’s life, just as Rahul started moving out of his home.
Joe was in town and wanted to meet. Rahul was delighted and agreed to meet him in the evening. He didn’t mention that he was tired. That he needed a hot shower. Or that he had a deadline to meet the next day. He knew this was special. This coulnd’t wait. He couldn’t wait. Memories flooded back to him. He remembered the pranks, the girl, the physics teacher, the school terrace… So many things that he couldn’t wait for the evening. And evening came in its glorious beauty. The type of beauty which you see only when you look for it. That day, Rahul saw the setting sun spread its orange wings across the horizon. He wanted the evening to be perfect. This was not a girlfriend he was meeting. This was not his soulmate. This was the boy who had made his childhood special.
As with all friends who meet after a long time, he was really surprised to see him. Joe was no more the scrawny kid. He had an athletic build now. The usual grin was no more. It was replaced by a gentle smile which bloomed as their eyes locked. Their eyes never broke contact as Rahul approached Joe. They hugged for a moment and oddly, it seemed that for the first time ever, they shook hands. Rahul was afraid that Joe might be in trouble. But he seemed quite fine. It actually looked like both friends had found their pots of gold at the ends of the rainbow. They reminisced about the past. They asked about friends and found that neither knew much about anyone else. As they talked, they started feeling at ease. For a brief moment, Joe laughed out loud at a joke. At that moment, Rahul felt like he had stepped back in time. He desperately wanted to hold on to it. But that moment vanished as quickly as it appeared. As time ran out on them, Joe lit his cigarette. It was now time to go. They shook hands. Joe said, “I really had a good time. It’s been great to see you”. And it seemed that his smile had become softer as he said, “You have become mature, man. I’m glad to see that you’re doing good”. Rahul smiled a bit shyly. They shook hands and left after promising that they’ll meet whenever Joe was in Mumbai.
As he sped in the cab along the Marine Drive, Rahul kept asking himself, “I’ve become mature, have I ?” He smiled at himself. The smile was the same as Joe’s. A smile of helplessness. He remembered everything again…the pranks, the girl, the physics teacher, the terrace and also Joe’s grin. He knew that the times he had as a kid could never come back. He knew that both of them had changed somewhere along the way.
As they grew from boys to men and as grins became smiles.
Vacant eyes,
Looking nowhere,
Not lingering in the past,
Nor looking forward to the future,
Never lonely even being alone.
When you see the grains of time
slip by and yet feel no rush.
Not trying to control,
Yet fully in control.
Your reason for existence being
Just to find that reason.
When laughter gave way to a smile
And tears became a memory
Of a distant past when it mattered.
And how ironic can it be
When you win, without trying,
That which you had tried so hard,
And shed your last tears trying.
—————————————————
Again, a post after a long time. Not so structured or well-thought. Just a random thread of thoughts.
Before anyone asks me, I’m not depressed and I’ve not had a break-up. It’s from my heart and yet not a direct reflection of me. So, figure me out if you so wish to 
Posted in Short Cuts | Tags: aham brahmasmi, poetry, tears, vacant eyes
Carefree as I am,
Living in the present
Forgetting the past
And oblivious to the future.
Now my present changes,
I remember the past
A mixture of nostalgia
And nothingness.
Will I still be the same,
As I look into the future
A mixture of anxiety
And hope.
Unable to go back,
Unsure of staying,
Unwilling to go forward,
And afraid of change.
Letting go,
Will I fly or fall
As I leave my nest
To make my mark in the skies.
I used to believe
In simple principles of life
Till life taught me
They’re not as simple as they seem
I used to believe
In speaking the truth
Till my dear ones taught me
To hide lies within truth
I used to believe
In doing unto others, as I wished them to do unto me
Till the world taught me
To do unto others, as they would do unto me
I used to believe
That love given would be returned
Till my love taught me
That love was blind
I used to believe
That my beliefs made my self
Till my lost beliefs taught me
That I was no more the man I was
I used to believe
That God was within me
Till my empty self led me
To find a belief which would not betray me
I used to believe
In the pursuit of happiness
Finally I found it
In the beliefs I had given up
————————————————-
PS: This is my first blog post after maybe 2 months. I’ve been chilling out at home in the same time. Not much has happened in the meantime. For some odd reason, I’ve developed a writer’s block at home. Maybe laziness, maybe a lack of creativity. However, more blogs to follow..
All out of the blue, my pals invited me to go along to Corbett National Park. And since I had nothing better to do (in fact, nothing to do), I was very happy to go. We booked a ticket in the afternoon, boarded the train in the night and viola, we were on our way to Corbett. In the morning, we landed at Ramnagar. There, we rented 2 rooms inside the park and hired a Gypsy (the gypsy car, not the fortune telling kind). We were 6 guys and fitted perfectly in the car – no more, no less. We went first to our rooms and were pleasantly surprised to find not just 2 rooms, but an entire cottage with a dining table, fireplace, kitchen, verandah and a huge clearing surrounded by thick woods. It was picture perfect. We then took our guide along with us into the jungle for the safari.
At first, we didn’t see any animals in our safari. We went through the thick woods and saw a few deer at times. The real safari started when we entered the grasslands. We stood on our seats and rode with the wind in our hair (and the dust that came with it). We saw lots of deer (sambhar, barking, etc.), wild boar, peacocks, mongoose, elephants and eagles. But we didn’t come across a single tiger in the country’s largest tiger reserve.
In the evening, we played some football with a miniature rugby ball and then played cards. The cottage had electricity only for 3 hours in the night. We were served rotis, rice and sabzi straight from the kitchen. The home-cooked feel along with the dinner table and fireplace really perked us up. After dinner, the electricity ran out. We were in pitch darkness in the middle of the forest. The caretaker had given us candles without any matches. As we stepped out of the cottage, we were amazed by the streaming moonlight which brightened our clearing. And we were equally scared to see innumerable glowing eyes looking at us from the woods bordering the clearing. The setting was as chilling as it could possibly get. Surrounded by wild animals and listening to wild noises, as we stood there bathed in an eerie moonlight, we truly felt powerless in the hands of nature. We called out to the caretaker and after numerous attempts, he came out with a lantern. He looked very scared for a guy who’s been living there for so many years. He gave us the matches and hurried back.
We spent the night in candle light and befitting to the atmosphere, we started telling ghost stories (or rather supernatural incidents) – like the one about the house in which no one lived beyond 50, or the one about the house in which the first children were all born with disabilities (I even told my spooky poem about the murdering father). As some guys started getting really scared with the stories, we turned the conversation to psychology. Illuminated by candlelight, we spoke of ego, love, relationships, fears, joys and a lot more. We shared our perceptions about each other and learnt a lot more about each other. The night we spent in the dark was the most memorable and enjoyable part of the trip. Finally, we went to sleep with animal noises ringing in our ears. In the morning, we found out that an elephant had been near our cottage.
The next day, we played some more football, had our breakfast and left on another safari. This time around, all of us just slept in the car. In the evening, we went back to Ramnagar and visited a barrage to kill some time. We had loads of fun walking across the fast flowing water. Finally, we went back to the railway station at night, had dinner and boarded our train back to Delhi. Only after getting back to Delhi did I really start feeling tired and worn out.
Total expenses – Rs. 1800. The experience – priceless.
She was the campus queen
He was the heartthrob
She was cultured
He was well-mannered
She was second in the class
He was the first
She hid behind a mask of perfection
He did not know yet his real face
She protected her true self from failure
He sacrificed his real self for success
She was a fake
He seemed the real thing
She hated him in private
He confessed his love in public
She refused him
He refused to give up
She showed her real face accidentally
He was more amazed than shocked
She feared for her image
He used his chance to get closer
She made her first true friend
He saw the beauty within her
She shed her masks because of him
He discovered himself because of her
She showed the world her real laugh
He discovered that he could laugh
She realized that she loved him
He realized that his past love was an illusion
This was true love
A journey of self-discovery
Through the eyes of another
Posted in Short Cuts | Tags: kare kano, love, masks, self discovery
He hated his life,
A dull job which paid less,
A wife who cared less,
A son for whom he cared less.
The root of his sorrow,
Lay with his loved wife,
Loved once by him, now by another,
Or so he thought.
Ridden with inferiority,
And maddened with suspicion,
He finally took the plunge,
Of the dagger into her heart.
He slashed, he hacked,
He knew not what he did,
Till he had carved every inch,
Till she was but a chunk of flesh.
He cleaned the gory scene,
And waited for his son,
Bad wife or not,
A good mother she was.
The son came and went,
He spoke not a word,
In all his waking hours,
He asked not for her.
He remained silent,
For a day, then a week,
Till the madman could take no more,
“Would you not like to see your mother?”, he asked.
“But I do see her everyday,
Standing right next to you !!”
They say the party starts once you are placed. Well, I guess they don’t know about the dummy system. When the number of candidates reduces, we send in dummy candidates just to keep the companies happy. Well, the dummies have to tread a thin line between not getting selected and not spoiling the institute’s reputation. It’s high tension during GDs and at the same time, it’s extremely difficult not to burst out laughing in the middle of the discussion. In my first dummy GD, there were 2 serious candidates and 6 dummies. Just imagine 6 people trying not to speak in a GD. Now, that’s difficult ! The HR read a case and asked us to discuss it. We allowed the serious people to speak as much as possible and didn’t butt in even when they slipped up or stuttered. We gave them hints to carry the discussion forward. We seconded all their points and never interrupted anyone else. To put it simply, it was the perfect GD. But I guess the HR wasn’t too pleased. She added a clause to the case and asked us to discuss further. We carried forward in the same manner and the dummies participated more just to keep the semblance of a real discussion. The HR got even more confused and asked us what went right / wrong in the GD. Each of us said our own points. When I’d said some bullshit about the GD, the dummy next to me said she seconded the same thing I said. I was flabbergasted – a dummy was seconding another dummy candidate and that too during feedback. I did my best not to burst out laughing. But then the HR said that we were too tensed and nervous and that she wouldn’t mind even if we fought to put our point across. This was the icing on the cake. It was too much for me. When she asked if we needed water, I took huge gulps of water just so that I could stop grinning. To our exasperation, the HR gave another case just to ‘help’ us. This time, more of us participated, but still no aggression. After all, none of us wanted to go to the interviews. Still unsatisfied, she added yet another clause and we discussed again. Finally, I guess she gave up and the GD was over. I couldn’t stop grinning and laughing as I came out of a GD which had 4 rounds in it. Thankfully, I was not selected for the interview and the 2 serious candidates made it.
In another GD, there were 8 dummies and 1 candidate. This was even more screwed up. The topic was on growth strategies for consulting companies. As usual, we let the serious guy speak as much as possible and we spoke as little as possible. A very peaceful GD. Then something possessed me towards the end of the GD and I had to speak a lot. Here’s how it went:
Dummy: So, we should outsource our activities to other countries…
Me (a bigger dummy) : What ? You mean we should outsource what we do to other countries ?
Dummy : Yes
Me : You mean the countries like Phillipines ?
Dummy : Yes
Me : You mean this because these countries are fast replacing the cost advantage which India had ?
Dummy : Yes
Me : Oh, OK !
< Silence > End of GD
The serious candidate and 4 other dummies were selected for interviews. Needless to say, me and the other dummy were also in. Now came the arduous task of tanking interviews. The serious guys went in first and got spot offers. The first dummy went in and asked for an international location. His first preference was Germany and if not, he wanted London. The company said they had offices in London and were open to giving him a London posting. The guy was shocked beyond words and came out of the interview tearing his hair out. He ended up signing a spot offer knowing that he’d be rejecting it. The next guy went in resolved not to speak anything. When asked how the IT industry was shaping up, he merely replied that it was growing well. The interviewer then went on to bore him for the next 10 minutes on the rapid growth in the IT sector. He was then asked about how he would cut costs in IT. He tried to give the worst possible answer and replied, “Logistics sir”. The interviewer thought this was an unexpected answer and then went on to talk for 10 more minutes about how important logistics was for the IT sector. The dummy was totally confused and finally he too got an offer and had to sign. Thankfully, my interview turn never came because it was too late.
In another GD, I got selected despite being silent throughout. However I made my interview quite short. The interviewer commented that my resume was more focused on marketing and was suited for FMCG companies. He then asked why I was not waiting for an FMCG company. Before I could think, I answered, “I am waiting for one sir. IT is actually my back up job”. I guess I must have shocked the hell out of my interviewer. He then asked some generic questions for which I gave some stupid answers and my interview was over within 10 minutes. But I actually felt really bad to have spoken so arrogantly to a big company.
Just like me, my friends had a lot of funny experiences being dummies and tanking interviews. Our placements had gone fairly well. A few people were unfortunate to be waiting till the last company and that’s the scariest part of the campus recruitments. I had the same experience during my summers, but it’s infinitely worse to be waiting when everyone else has jobs. All said and done, our roller coaster ride just got over. The drama, joy, sorrow, anxiety, fear, jealousy, confusion – everything was over for now. We are now stepping into the corporate world as real managers. Wish me luck people !!
Posted in IIFT
